Mary Schmich is a columnist for the Chicago Tribune. She is also the current author of the long-lived comic strip Brenda Starr and has worked as a professional barrelhouse and ragtime piano player.

She is perhaps best known as the author of an amusing and discursive column that included an injunction to wear sunscreen that was erroneously believed to have been a commencement address by Kurt Vonnegut and was widely circulated on the Internet under that description.